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AWAI Copywriting Bootcamp: One hour from now you’ll be writing winning catalog copy

October 7, 2005 By

Presented by Herschell Gordon Lewis

I was really looking forward to this session, as I got my copywriting start writing for catalogs produced by NTT DoCoMo in Tokyo. Now, my catalog writing skills come in handy for our clients online shopping systems. But this is a fabulous chance to learn from the master of catalog writing himself. (By the way, the points I’ve summarized from Herschell Gordon Lewis presentation below mostly apply to both online and offline catalogs.)

Lesson #1: Start your descriptions with strong words
You can always begin a message with a stronger phrase than “there is” or “there are”.

Lesson #2: Writing numbers
Use figures in numerical form rather than written out: e.g. use 5 instead of five.

Lesson #3: Words that don’t motivate
Replace these words with more exciting words.

  • Features
  • Needs (as a noun)
  • Provides
  • Designed to
  • It (a featureless word that should never be used as the first word of a catalog description)

    Lesson #4: Word choice for quantities
    Express quantities with units of measurement that convey a perception of less or more, as appropriate (e.g., we ship within 24 hours vs. 1 day – the expression in hours conveys a feeling of less time)

    Lesson #5: Who should head up catalog development?
    A sales-oriented person will yield more results heading up a catalog department than someone who is well-versed in the product, all things being equal.

    Lesson #6: The Clarity Commandment
    When you choose words and phrases for force-communication, clarity is paramount. Don’t let any other facet of the communications mix interfere with it. (e.g. product names that are descriptive of the actual product)

    Lesson #7: Sell on the cover
    Hint: For web-based catalogs and shopping systems, this is the equivalent of your home page.

    Lesson #8: Hotspots in a business catalog
    Hotspots influence decision to keep catalog on desk and items in hotspots sell best.

  • The cover
  • Inside front cover (consumer catalogs often have presidents letter)
  • Back cover
  • Center spread (if stitched)
  • Pages adjacent to the

    • order form (should be impulse buy).

    Lesson #9: The President’s Letter
    Why not put it on page 2 and use inside cover for selling? B2B catalogs don’t require a letter.

    Lesson #10: Catalogs aimed at seniors
    Not type smaller than 10 point. Make response easy. Appear to appeal to logic. Don’t make a long story short.

    Lesson #11: Catalog headings
    The 4 types:

  • Name the product
  • Describe phylum – description of product
  • Describe product use
  • Indicate product benefit (often sells best)

    • In product headings, use the active voice, give immediate benefit, show last chance, include a great motivator (fear, exclusivity, greed, guilt, need for approval; soft motivators include convenience and pleasure).

    Lesson #12: Benefits
    Describe absolute benefits before comparative benefits when the typical reader has no prior recognition of why he or she should be interested.

    Benefits precede bullets, which are features (tell them why it’s a good product for them, and then back it up with factual information in the bullets).

    Lesson #13: A Few Differences to Consider on the Web

  • Product pages need to be more straightforward, because they often appear to customers who are specifically searching for your product.
  • Dont use PDFs or any devices that require the customer to put in extra effort to access your catalog.
  • Keep headings short
  • Use bullet copy more than in print
  • Keep order system easy – streamline it to get the order
  • The company logo is not so important – focus on the deal on the home page.
  • Staccato writing is more likely to hold the web visitor than narrative writing.
  • Salesmanship takes precedence over announcements, technical expertise, gadgetry.

    • Lesson #14: Benefit/Benefit/Benefit Principle
    This will guarantee the effectiveness of catalog copy.

  • First-level benefit. E.g. Statement of superiority. Here at last is a silent dishwasher.
  • Second-level benefit. E.g. Relate to reader. Kitchen noise and clatter are gone forever.
  • Third-level

    • benefit. E.g. Tell reader how the superiority brings an improvement to his or her life or business. For the first time, you can have a civilized kitchen conversation, or play quiet music…and actually hear it.

    Read more about Herschell Gordon Lewis at his website here: http://herschellgordonlewis.com/

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